Cosimo The Stealth Baron

On February 13th 2002, I became the proud custodian of Cosimo the Stealth Baron.  I expect you're all pondering the origin of the name.  By dint of examining some of the photos below, it should be immediately apparent why one of the lads in Future Cycles observed "that bike's invisible to radar".  As to Cosimo, that derives from the eponymous hero of Italo Calvino's novella "Baron In The Trees".  Doubly appropriate, given the enormous number of plants in the conservatory at Larrington Towers, which is where he lives when he's not out racing.

Correction:  There were an enormous number of plants in the conservatory at Larrington Towers, but now there's only the wisteria attempting to come in from outside, and that not for much longer once I get my saw back.  The wisteria is evil, and is trying to take over the whole of the E17 postal district.  It has to go.




Baron and Speedmachine in the garden of Larrington Towers

Compare and contrast bottom bracket heights...

First time out on the track

Manchester, March 2002.  Posingwarming up prior to the race

L-R: Tim Elsdale's tail fairing, me & Cosimo, Paul London and Ian Chattington

Discussing Matters Arising with Rob English (left).
I think this was after the race, in which I came second unfaired behind Rob.
He's fifteen thirteen years younger than me, and a lot fitter, but I'm better looking
Manchester photos by Nigel Bradder, IIRC

Further discussion of Matters Arising with Rob, this time in Milton Keynes

The fastest part of the course.  I was doing about 50 km/h here most laps.
Rob was doing 60, because he is Young and therefore has No Imagination...
Above two photos by Dave Warnock

Also at Milton Keynes - photo by Kevin Jenkins.
Note Style Improvement with proper cycling jersey
However, Ian Chattington maintains that the white socks are distinctly "fred"-like.  I don't know what he means...

Castle Combe 2002 - photo by Bob Smith

Eastway - photo by gNick Green
Hurrah!  Managed to win unfaired class in soi-disant "fast" race
Bah!  Slower than Denise Wilson in so-called "slow" race.
Note improved socks, post-Battle Mountain suntan and weapons-grade hangover
Memo to self: matching helmet required for next year


Listing the spec. of this bike would be a pointless affair, as he's more or less a bog-standard Optima Baron Pro, with the optional extra low race frame, carbon-fibre seat and carbon-fibre tail fairing.  The standard-fit Continental GP tyres have been replaced with Schwalbe Stelvios, and there's a surfeit of Electronic Devices, home-brewed nylon wheel discs and one of HP Velotechnik's chainguards.  This latter spent the whole of the Manchester meeting making an embarrassing noise every time I execeeded 100 rpm (causing Rob English to make a break in order to get a little peace and quiet!), but I think I've got that sorted now.

Actually, I haven't...  The cadence at which it starts is up a bit, and it only seems to happen now in 5th or higher.  No amount of bending seems to be able to fix it, chiz.

Aha!  During the third round of the recent London HPV series, I happened to notice that the return run of the chain was wiggling laterally and making contact with the extreme aft end of the chainguard.  Rotating the chainguard as far anti-clockwise (when viewed from the drive side of the bike) as possible puts the lower trailing edge thereof closer to the point at which chain and chainring part company.  This has successfully rid Cosimo of the hugely annoying noise, which Paul Lowing likened to Porky Pig.  Hurrah!

I have also relocated the brake levers to sit under the steerer inna-Frederik-van-de-Walle-stylee, turned the steerer upside-down and rotated the shifters so the cables exit beneath the steerer as well.  And I lopped a further centimetre or two off each side of the handlebar.  This probably improves the aerodynamics (a bit), and certainly makes it a great deal easier to see where I'm going, as well as:

However,  the brakes need bleeding as a result of having to disconnect the hoses. And while cleaning the bike after the horribly damp Hayes race, I broke the front number board, chiz.  Truly a recumbentista's work is never done.

2003 Update

Having dispensed with all possible chain tubes, pulleys and so forth in the name of Mechanical Efficiency, we found that the chain to be slowly but surely wearing its way through the rubber sock encasing the right fork blade.  It therefore became apparent that Something Must Be Done, as otherwise the fork would no doubt collapse inna-Fred-Dibnah-knocking-down-a-factory-chimney-stylee.  Accordingly, Cosimo has recently been fitted with a Challenge monoblade - the ordinary one, not the vastly weighty Katana - and matching front wheel.  Kudos to Bikefix for doing the necessary; Not Thanks and Bollocks to the traffic wardens of Camden Council who ensured that it cost forty quid more than expected, chiz.  I have not so far had an opportunity to try this out, as I was Otherwise Engaged at the time of the Manchester meeting in early March, but I have seen another Baron - I think that of Vinzenz Burgherr - thus equipped, and he is still alive...  I have no pictures yet, this being not unrelated to my lack of a camera, but I shall shortly be Going Digital, and then you'll be sorry.

Additional: the rear of the front number board has now been painted black and clear lacquer has restored the somewhat beaten-up tail fairing to its former pristine and shiny carbon glory.


2004 Update

Cosimo has spent most of 2004 trying to kill me. I managed to crash twice at Eastway - once with naught but a sprained dignity and a collection of Mud and once with a skinned arse, elbow and ankle after touching down at 35 mph at the end of the back straight - and once at Castle Combe - which completely bollixed my left arm for about seven weeks.  Bah!  I also had near misses at Preston, Lancaster and Milton Keynes.  I don't like this game any more...

OK, you wanna know why Cosimo has so much electronickery on board?  Originally I had a CatEye Astrale, for cadence and a CatEye HB-100, for heart rate and speed.  But the transmitter for the latter packed up, so I acquired a Cardiosport Go HRM instead.  Although the Astrale is capable of displaying speed and cadence at the same time, one of the displays - take your pick - is Ickle.  Accordingly a central mount was confected to hold one Astrale while another was placed alongside it to display speed (the cadence pickup having been removed from this mount long ago anyway).  Hence the bars carry, from left to right, Astrale displaying speed, Astrale displaying cadence, HRM.

There's also a CatEye Mity mounted on the frame tube just aft of the headset.  The mount was originally an Astrale one which was fitted to 002, and I had the computer itself lying around anyway.  This one has its magnet & sensor on the rear wheel, so I can now see how fast I'm (not) going when the bike is atop the trainer.

See!  It all makes perfect sense...


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